Nigeria: One Day One Drama

Nigeria is a theatre of drama. Just about the time you are exhausting one, another one simply ensues from nowhere. Sometime ago, it was a member of the National Assembly that released “Ajekun Iyaa”. That song is still a banger till tomorrow. Then, you hear that the President has relocated his office to his living room. It first of all began with him missing Federal executive council meetings like no man’s business. One would wonder why the president would consistently miss such crucial meeting when he is not outside of the country. And then suddenly, the minister of information said the man would prefer to work from home. All files to be sent to his sitting room.

No one knows whether Mr. President is fine health-wise or not. His state of health has remained shrouded in mystery till now. No one can tell whether the President is actually working from home or is being attended to on his sick bed at home. If there is one thing those in Presidency knows how to do, it is to tell lies and make it look real. The Minister of information is specially gifted in that area. He even recently told Richard Quest that jollof rice originated from Senegal. Isn’t that dramatic? Anyway, I don’t have issues with the origin of jollof rice, or whether Nigerians makes better jollof rice than Ghanaians. As long as I enjoy my own jollof rice, the rest is story.

The president is sick, but he wouldn’t resign. At least for the first time since the return of our democracy in 1999, we have a Vice President who is able and capable, and knows what it entails to lead as well. It wouldn’t cost the president anything to resign to take care of himself. But this is Nigeria, things like that do not happen here. The President would rather choose to remain ill and become a liability to the whole nation than step down. We even read and hear all manner of things lately. They say some Northern cabals are the ones in charge of the nation now. And the northern cabals are afraid of what a Yemi Osinbajo can do to their venture. They even say they are afraid they don’t want power to return to the Southwestern cabals. Isn’t this a wonderful drama? I thought we voted for President Muhammadu Buhari- the cabals are now the ones in charge. It is alright.

And when concern Nigerians who cares about the state of the nation ask the president to step down, they are abused and called all manner of names. Anyway, there is nothing new again in Nigeria politics. When what the cabals are afraid of eventually happens, it wouldn’t be new to Nigerians because it had happened before. If Nigerians can resist the cabals then, Nigerians can do it again now. Until then, may the Lord grants Mr. President healing of whatsoever ailment that is rendering him incapacitated to properly lead the nation as he should.

Then, as the issue of jollof rice and the President’s state of health rages on, former governor Peter Obi of Anambra state claimed on the The platform that he only had two pairs of shoes and just a wrist watch. That is interesting to hear from a Nigerian politician. I think we should all stand up and clap for him. Those shoes must have been the type the children of Israel wore for forty years in the wilderness. No doubt, Peter Obi did well when he was in charge of his state. He was one of those few governors I admired then. But I doubt if he actually own just two shoes and a single wrist watch. Maybe he should allow us into his private home to verify that claim. Nigerian politicians are fantastic guys- women and men alike. They know how to play the humble/humility card in front of the crowds. That was how the former President Goodluck Jonathan claimed in 2011 that he had no shoes. Of course, 2019 is coming and it seems Obi too is already prepping Nigerians for his return. He would sure need to play a card- all Nigerians politicians do this.

Some plays the religious card others plays the ethnic card. Jonathan played the innocent poor kid in the 2011 elections, and Nigerians bought into it. Out politicians knows how sharp “our mumu” is as a people. They know we vote based on our sentiments and emotions. They know we respond to feelings rather than reasoning during elections. That is why a bag of rice, a keg of oil and N1,000.00 (One thousand Naira) note can change our minds during elections- especially those rural folks. These things have always worked for an average nigerian politicians- it is called money/material politics. And then, when they get to office, they starts misbehaving, and then we start complaining; and the drama continues for the next four or eight years. Our mumu must stop!

What other drama sef! Of course, the 2017 budget has not been passed. Has the budget gone missing again this time around? This trend has been consistent with this administration. The drama around the 2016 budget before it was eventually passed is still fresh in one’s mind. I was reading somewhere that the 2016 budget would expire this week (May 5), and that there are some constitutional crisis already rocking the 2017 budget. I had even read somewhere earlier that Senator Danjuma Goje (chairman of the senate committee on appropriation) said that the budget is missing!!! Well, I don’t know the authenticity of that story: ‘make ulna nor go quote me anywhere ooo”. I hope Nigerian government isn’t heading for a shutdown if eventually the budget isn’t passed this week or some drama ensue around it as we witnessed with that of 2016. Anyways, legs crossed as other dramas unfold.